Modesty Without Rules

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I’ve been trying to get my thoughts together on this topic for most of this year. This concept had been one of the hardest ones for me to grasp until the Lord freed me. It’s easier to follow the doctrines of men than to wait on the Holy Spirit to lead you on modest dress. The easier way can sometimes lead to legalism and severe judgement of yourself and others. I’ve also learned that convictions can be snatched by the adversary and changed to condemnation if we are not aware. There is no condemnation in Christ for those who walk in the Spirit and not the flesh. James 8:1 KJV

Although one may dress modestly, it’s important to search your heart constantly because outward modesty does not equal inner righteousness.

I honestly don’t think we’ll truly know how much we’ve grown in Christ until our life is over. So staying humble and reevaluating your heart is a consistent journey. Righteousness doesn’t come through our own good works, but from our whole hearted submission to Jesus Christ and the good work the Holy Spirit does within us. Our lives are solely to glorify God and not ourselves.

When you truly want to live a life that’s pleasing to God, you just want to do what’s right. There may be a huge fear about doing it wrong. We’d rather be right the first time around. So it’s easy to run to rules that “feel” right to our human nature and settle there.

What I’m learning is by following the rules of men, you’ve bypassed the opportunity to create a stronger personal relationship with God.

Building a strong relationship with God means taking every question and concern you have to Him first. It’s the conversation of prayer which builds that relationship with God while listening quietly and diligently for the response. Having a personal relationship with God is more valuable than solely studying the Bible. A friend said to me the other day, “Wouldn’t you want to meet the author than just read about him?”


It’s a process. It isn’t always easy. Though it’s actually more spiritually rewarding. Because this is a relationship, just like any other we need to take time to develop it.

No one actually enjoys being uncomfortable when you can’t see what the end result looks like, but that’s how faith grows.

Although I originally transitioned to a pretty strict modest apparel, I no longer only wear skirts and dresses. I’ve allowed the Holy Spirit to guide me in my attire. I’ve been enjoying wearing pants again and tend to gear towards loose comfortable clothing in general.

Here are a few basic ideas around modesty. As to more specifics on exactly what to wear, I’d say go to God. With time you will know.

  • Modesty by definition is the opposite of sensuality.

  • Modesty conceals the areas of the body that are sensual.

  • What would you wear to meet Jesus?

I started dressing modestly in the fall of 2017. Since then I’ve been transitioning into street ministry and sometimes you need to look a bit more undercover. I’ve experienced the awe of how the Holy Spirit can change your heart about many things as well as renew you if you are stuck and/or in bondage.

We are all unique with different areas of our heart that we need the Holy Spirit to work on.

Some of the major concerns about dressing modestly that I’ve faced is feeling outdated, ridiculous, legalistic, unattractive, etc. I’m sure I looked like all of these things too because I had followed the doctrines of what other’s defined as modest. At that time I was confused with all types of judgmental and legalistic thoughts towards myself and others.

The beauty of going from one extreme to the other is once you’ve experienced it, you have a deeper understanding of judgement and legalism. These lessons become invaluable versus just getting it right the first time. I pray I never stop learning.

Please know if there is fear, shame, and guilt in this process or any process walking with the Lord, that’s NOT from the Holy Spirit.

God does not give the spirit if fear but of love, power, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 My modest dress doesn’t look like it used to, but I feel it’s in alignment with where I need to be now. If you’re feeling your own convictions to dress modestly, pray and earnestly seek God about it. He’ll tell you exactly what to wear, and he’ll also provide the resources to do so. I’m a witness.

Much love!

Image by Dawn Michelle

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