I met a woman the other day who openly shared some of her challenges with motherhood. Motherhood is intensely challenging, beyond humbling, and at times you just want the day to be over then realizing that you’ll be back at it the next day. It never ends and there isn’t much reprive. It’s been on my heart to share some encouragement to any mother who will read this.
When my son was around 15-18 months old and we were still living in Los Angeles, a man approached me at the gas station asking for money. My son was sitting in his car seat smiling at him. I had already started pumping gas and I don’t think I had any cash on me, but I did have a bunch of bananas in the car so I offered them to him. He then asked me if I was a Christian. I had no idea where this conversation was going.
Surprisingly he started ministering to me. He told me that being a mother was the MOST important job in the world.
A tear started running down my face just as it is now as I write this. My lip quivered as I said, “But it started out so hard.” I was referring to my birth story which I shared, and the nine months of tribulations that I endured after as I shared in my personal testimony. His eyes had such light in them despite that he was walking around the gas station asking for money. He smiled and waved at my son and walked away thanking me for the bananas. I’ve never forgotten that day, and it came back to my mind after the mother was sharing her struggles with me.
So why is motherhood so hard? Because it’s the MOST important job in the world. When a mother is physically or even emotionally absent from a child’s life, it can scar a child deeply more than many other trials and tribulations in life. Mothers nurture, mold, and frame how a child sees the world, and the values the child will have.
Mothers build the foundation of how a child will become an adult in the world.
With this job being the MOST important job in the world, it doesn’t surprise me that from a worldly standpoint it is so belittled daily with one commercialized holiday of honor. Because the world belittles us, we belittle ourselves, and sometimes each other. And to add more insult, women are made to feel guilty if we stay at home to take care of our children, and we are also made to feel guilty if we work outside of the home. There seems to be no win either way from a worldly mindset.
Women are constantly bombarded with ideals of wearing the superhero’s cape of being perfectly in shape and glamorous, with just the right amount of self care, while working a job, cooking, baking, cleaning, having a magazine worthy home, caring for the family, and participating in the right social activities.
This is just lightly touching on the pressures of motherhood. So let’s get back to what is really crucial with the MOST important job in the world. Mothers mold children to become adults. Let’s think about how ideally we want to accomplish this… with unconditional love, patience, peace, discipline, courage, grace, and mercy. It is nearly impossible to really do this job if we haven’t looked at our own pain. This is where walking with God comes in.
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5 KJV
The word “conversation” in scripture usually refers to not only what you say but how you live. With mothers on social media sharing glimpses of how they live online for encouragement, it’s important that we do not compare ourselves to the 1% of their life that they share, or to covet and desire any part of it. The reason why I emphasize 1% is because we don’t see how anyone speaks with their spouse at home, disciplines there children, treats the sales clerks in stores, and most importantly we don’t know their personal struggles or what’s in their hearts.
Yes we do desire our lives to improve and be our best versions, but our best is not someone else’s 1%.
Instead let’s look at who we are and ask God to deal with us individually. Let’s ask God to show us where we are distracted, hurt, and struggling, and where we have unforgiveness. We need God’s help to heal us.
Unforgiveness can be a HUGE culprit to mothers not being able to step into their role with the grace God will provide for us to do our best.
So no this article isn’t going to share 10 tips on being an awesome mom. Who we are individually and who our children are can’t be resolved in 10 superficial tips. If it were that simple this wouldn’t be the MOST important and also challenging job in the world. I will say this though.
The more that I’ve humbled myself and told God, “Lord you’ve designed me to do this job, so please show me how,” the more grace I’ve received as well as instruction from the Holy Spirit on exactly what step to take next.
“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” John 14:26 KJV
When I think of God’s grace, the words that immediately come to mind is “His supernatural favor”. I have witnessed the Holy Spirit guide me and teach me many things from how to run my household, what to do in terms of this blog and my business, and how to discipline my son when he’s been misbehaving. The Holy Spirit has also guided me when to just let things alone seeing that the issue in front of my eyes had nothing to do with what I was actually seeing, but instead what I hadn’t dealt with in my own heart, or if dealing with another something they haven’t dealt with in their own heart.
It’s not my job to fix anyone’s heart, but I do know God can. When you humble yourself before God, he literally takes your hand and walks you through both the beauty and struggles of life. Humility is very important though because God resists the proud.
As we slowly walk away from one of the most challenging years worldwide and enter into a new year, and our family leans heavily on us for everything, let’s lean on God even more. Cast every care in your heart to Him and he will guide you to do the MOST important job in the world in the best way for you and your family.
Sending all of you mothers a BIG hug, and I pray that you find the balance of both strength and gentleness in your life.
Love, Dawn Michelle
Image by Dawn Michelle