A few years ago I wasn’t even aware of modesty. I don’t see many women in Los Angeles dressing modestly, and it wasn’t a notion when I was a child. I grew up in front of full length mirrors that extended the length of a room in ballet, modern, and jazz classes wearing dance attire that showed your lines for easy corrections. I’ve always had a different perspective of my body because of this.
The fall of 2017 I had the spiritual conviction to dress modestly. I had no idea where to start outside of looking for long skirts, and I donated and sold most of my previous wardrobe. It was tough. I felt crazy. No doubt I looked that way too. It’s taken me some time to find my own style with this new look, but it has been such an amazing process.
The first thing that dressing modestly does is free you from any and every body issue you may have had in the past.
In January 2017 I had my son. By the fall my waistline had still not returned to its original shape due to abdominal separation. Dressing modestly helped me to feel graceful while my body continued to heal. What a blessing it has been to stop nitpicking over myself and focus on something else.
Our society has always been tough on women and our appearance. Plus it’s so easy to literally buy into the hype.
It keeps us continually dissatisfied with ourselves and always looking for the next outfit, cosmetic, shoes, bag, hair product, just anything to mask the real issue. At first dressing differently was uncomfortable. But with time it also freed me from keeping up with society trends and standards.
Last summer I began focusing on finding dresses that were comfortable, easy to wear anywhere, and could be dressed up or down.
I didn’t want to have different wardrobes for different occasions. I didn’t want to spend too much time coordinating tops and skirts. I also needed pieces that were nursing friendly. (I’m actually wearing the dress pictured above back to front, as the front has buttons.) It was then that I began looking at linen dresses. You can read exactly why I chose linen here.
Some benefits I’ve experienced from wearing long flowy dresses or skirts is that is they are not restrictive and actually more comfortable for me than most pants. I can sit on the floor without tugging on my skirt or having to sit in a specific way. I even wear dresses to the playground and go down the slides with my son easily. I’m able to do anything that I would before yet with more flexibility. Most of my dresses fall above my ankle.
By wearing simple and comfortable dresses I always feel put together. I never feel over or underdressed for any occasion. I think linen fabric has a lot to do with it along with wearing a modest neckline and skirt length.
The beauty of modesty is that I feel like a lady without the need to overdo anything.
After dancing in the industry for over a decade with the need to be camera ready at all times while looking slightly provocative, this truly is freedom. The dance scene in New York wasn’t like this, but this is definitely the case in Los Angeles. It’s also freeing not to have others checking my backside when I pass if you know what I mean.
Spiritual convictions are usually to free up areas in your life where you were once in bondage. It can take time to adjust to them, but this experience has been such a blessing. While I notice so many serving those looks on Instagram, I’m free from that as well. It’s not necessary to keep up with or emulate others to be happy. This has been another area of my life that has come right in line with simple living and minimalism.
Modesty may be a lost art, but I find it is so refreshing.
Image by Dawn Michelle
Paola says
Thanks for sharing this! Could you say a bit more about where your conviction comes from or what other I influence you’ve had to that regard? I’ve also had the same conviction in recent years. Having grown up in religious environments I’m quite familiar with the rationales behind this style of modesty, and also unfortunately aware of how it can become a burden or a “performance” of sorts. I do agree, modesty should be freeing! I think the hard part is finding a style that works and makes us feel comfortable and confident. As much as people insist that our self esteem and sense of beauty should come from a sense of self worth (in my case, rooted in Christ), it’s also inevitable that we are going to feel a certain way because of the clothes we wear and how those clothes make our bodies look.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Paola,
My spiritual conviction was from Christ/the Holy Spirit. It was not something that was required of or spoken of in church although I’m aware that some churches do speak on modesty. As soon as you find your style in modesty, it’s no longer an issue or a performance as you mentioned.
Lala says
This post makes me so happy. I’ve evolved into modest dress over the last few years and am very pleased with my current look. I think my style looks way more sophisticated and suits my body better now. I’ve been on this journey even before I found God, but it definitely makes sense with my faith. The Catholic church does not have rules about modesty (although some make up their own and are obsessive about it), but part of the tradition is honoring the body and I don’t see how I can do that if I’m trying to be “sexy”. I do love fashion and find many modest styles that are chic. One of my style gurus is Adi Heyman, an Orthodox Jewish fashionista. Her Instagram is sick. Modest fashion has gained popularity but their are never enough voices representing this choice as empowerment.
Lala says
I forgot to add that dresses are underrated. I still like to throw on a jean or pant now again but dresses are my favorite. I get tired of trying to mix tops with bottoms and then you end up with way more pieces than needed. A dress is a complete outfit, which is extremely minimal, and if not restrictive is the most comfy thing to wear.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Lala,
Finding your own way and style with modesty is what makes the journey freeing. And like you said modesty can be chic. I prefer to keep things as simple as possible which is why I love dresses so much. I’m so glad you enjoyed this article. It can be challenging to put yourself out there. I hope you are having a beautiful day.
Nikki D says
Wow! Perfect timing. I’ve been led in this same direction and it’s hard some days when Im with my husband and see other women dressed more “sexy”. I’ve struggled with self esteem my entire life and seeking approval from others. I’m a work in progress but allowing
Christ to guide me is making it easier. I felt the need to eat a more plant based diet instead of my regular diet of junk food and rarely any veggies. So I began revisiting your blog for tips (read for years slacked off during nursing school) I’m a new nurse and work with cancer patients and need to be a better example as well as take better care of myself and my family. Thanks for sharing. BTW I wear dresses too so I don’t have to mix and match and I feel like a lady however at work I wear typical scrubs with a lab jacket to cover my backside. It’s crazy because even scrubs for nurses are designed to be form fitting and low rise. I can’t focus on my patients if I’m worrying about showing too much.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Nikki,
Thanks for sharing this. My husband said the other day that women used to only “dress to kill” after work or going out on the weekend. Now there is a trend to dress that way literally all the time even running errands with their children. At least that is how it is in Los Angeles. Just the awareness of this is interesting and a bit over the top. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and presenting yourself beautifully. But even knowing the proper time and place for things has become fuzzy.
It is great that you are taking better care of yourself and eating healthy. That is the best example you can give to your patients and your family. It will pay off in the long run too. I hope you are having a beautiful day.
Esther says
Hi Dawn, this article was more of a revelation for me. I have been praying and struggling with modesty for so long, as I read the words of this article, it was as if I wrote it myself, thank you, you helped me more than you will ever know…lots of love
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Esther,
Oh my goodness, thank you for sharing this with me. Your comment really means a lot. I hope you are having a beautiful and blessed day.
Kristal C says
Hi Dawn! Thank you so much for revealing this spiritual conviction. I have been pulled into the same direction as far as giving up pants and wearing more flowy, mid to long length dresses. I agree, they are so much more comfortable than skinny jeans and tugging leggings, and as I grow older, I prefer more to save my curves and physique for the eyes of my husband only. I never really given much thought about linen dresses but I will definitely look into it!
I had my son February 2017 (yay for toddlerhood!) and even now, I still have an abdominal separation (diastasis recti) at my pre-pregnancy weight. Have you healed completely in that area? This is another reason I am leaning toward flowy dresses to reduce my self-awareness about my midsection when wearing shirts.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Kristal,
I haven’t completely healed from my abdominal separation mainly because I haven’t prioritized myself over taking care of home life, my son, and my business. I’m juggling a lot just like every other mom. I do know exactly what I need to being doing though.
I feel my best when staying consistent working with my Pilates ring. That ring has literally strengthened me after dislocating my hip years ago from a dance performance and on so many other occasions. There are many exercises online for abdominal separation too. Keep the faith as it can be healed. In the meantime loose fitting comfortable and beautiful clothing is a great solution.