When I was planning my wedding years ago, I realized how HUGE the wedding industry was. It was also very good at making brides-to-be feel that they needed so much to have a beautiful wedding. The same is definitely true for new mothers-to-be. When I started looking at all of the things that were so called needed for a new baby, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.
Anyone who really understands my heart knows that I am going to make sure that I have everything I need, but no more. It helped tremendously having an amazing midwife who supports a minimalist approach to motherhood. For those who are interested in a less is more approach to having a baby, this is for you!
We had neighbors move to Utah at the beginning of the year who had a one year old son. The wife offered my husband their crib. He graciously declined the generous offer. She then confessed that they didn’t actually use the crib. We were already told in our birthing class that even if we bought a crib, we most likely wouldn’t use it. My neighbors were proof of that.
Although many do choose to use cribs, we already had planned to have “a family bed”. I had read about the family bed in Alicia Silverstone’s book The Kind Mama, and later in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International. (By the way, If you are breastfeeding this book will help you in so many ways.)
In The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding you will learn how to safely co-sleep with your baby. Safety is usually the biggest concern and for good reason. There are three HUGE benefits to co-sleeping with your baby. One is that you actually get more sleep as the mother. Another is that you are able to take care of your baby’s needs quickly and easily without him or her having to cry in distress to get your attention. Lastly, it’s more peaceful all together especially since you don’t have to worry about your baby being by themselves in another room.
If you saw our full apartment tour, you would have seen how our platform bed looked originally. We took off the posts and my husband cut up an old yoga mat and taped it to the bed frame so that it wouldn’t scratch our wood floors. Although I miss our full platform bed, having the bed on the floor is a safety precaution.
To create a nursery vibe without going too overboard, I used 3 Sprouts Storage Boxes in a white four cube organizer. This organizer can be used for various things over the next few years without it dating itself or being too childish as my son gets older. I can easily change the energy of the piece by changing the fabric bins. I keep folded cloth diapers in one bin, wash and burping cloths in another, and his clothing in the third bin.
Along with the organizer, we purchased a simple rocking chair which saved my back the first few months while learning to breastfeed. Another item that has been extremely helpful (not shown) is a Baby Bjorn Bouncer Chair purchased at a local children’s consignment shop. Aside from purchasing these three furniture pieces, I don’t feel as if we’ve missed out on having other things for the first 6+ months of having a new baby.
Here are seven things I didn’t buy into…
1. A Stroller
I prefer baby wearing, and it’s also much easier to travel this way. After flying with an infant, dealing with a car seat and luggage was more than enough. After trying a few different styles of carriers, my favorite is a woven wrap. It provides tons of support and versatility which I didn’t find with jersey style wraps, plus it’s pretty. You saw a glimpse of it in this picture.
2. A Changing Table
I use a changing pad on any large flat surface that is safe and comfortable. In our home I either use the bed or the couch.
3. A Crib
I’ve already shared my thoughts on the family bed, but I still wanted to include it in this list. By skipping the crib, we’ve also saved on a crib mattress, sheets, and other bedding needs. We also don’t need a baby monitor since we have a one bedroom apartment.
4. An Infant Tub
I used a simple bin provided by the hospital to bath by son after his belly button healed. Later on I found it much easier to simply bathe with him. This is another topic covered in both books mentioned above.
5. Plastic Learning Toys
I feel one of the best ways to learn anything is from experience. One reason I love baby wearing is that it allows my son to experience life closer to my perspective. By taking him places and having him in a carrier, he feels safe and free to see the world around him. He also really enjoys being read to so I make sure to read at least one book to him a day.
6. Baby Geared Cosmetics
I’ve already shared our simple skin and hair care regimen for my baby which you can read in detail here. In summary, organic unrefined shea butter, diluted unscented castile soap, and colloidal oatmeal is all we have needed. My son hasn’t experienced any diaper rash or other skin issues.
7. An Elaborate Cloth Diapering System
Cloth diapers have come a LONG way over the years. Surprisingly I actually love the simple flats that have been used for years and years. You can find more about my most cost effective cloth diapering system here.
What have you happily gone without or didn’t need?
Please share your thoughts in the comments!
(Images by Dawn Michelle)
Lisa says
I’m so impressed that his clothes fit in that small bin. I didn’t purchase any clothing but others were so generous and I wasn’t sure what I would need so I sorted them by size and put them in boxes in our guest bedroom closet. Each new size I take out a box and sort. I now realize that I need a lot less than most people use. Now her clothing is kept in two tiny drawers but could probably all fit in one drawer and I immediately give away any excess.
We received a crib but ultimately decided to bed share so we never assembled it. I have a small bassinet that I put next to the bed or use for daytime naps when I’m downstairs and my daughter is upstairs. We also received a stroller that went with our car seat and have used it twice because I feel more secure wearing her. I decided to keep it though because it’s a jogging stroller and I look forward to doing some jogging with baby.
No changing table for us but we got a thick changing mat that I put inside our bathroom on a small table. I find it easy to store the diapers on the bottom shelf of the table and take care of all messes in the restroom.
I basically took the stance of not purchasing anything and played it by ear. I’m so thankful that we did. We ended up passing along about 80% of what we received secondhand and spending very little money.
And much like my own wardrobe, I found myself returning to the same items for my daughter over and over again because I love them and knew that she would grow out of them quickly. This drastically decreased how much clothes she needs even with daily spit ups and changes. Also, I did purhase one pack of drool bibs which helped decrease laundry because they capture most of the messes.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Lisa,
We were also gifted so many clothing and other items. Luckily I also found a children’s resale shop which I have sold items to and traded for his next clothing size. I also completely agree with not overbuying in the beginning and playing it by ear. That was advice given to me before my son was born. I also really appreciate you sharing what has been working for you. We can learn a lot from each other.
Tahnee says
Love it! We do have a crib. My husband & I move around a lot at night & don’t feel safe co sleeping. However he is in our room, so I can get him before he cries. we bought a stroller but I baby carry mostly. A) for convenience & B) to help me loose my baby weight. We haven’t purchased any other furniture. We didnt buy him any clothes we got a lot from the baby shower & my aunt had a son a month before me so she always gives us his. qw only have 3 bottles. I do pump and bottle feed as he hasn’t quite figured out how to latch & my husband takes him for 5 hours at night so I can sleep. Also doing cloth diapers and nursing pads. when I was filling out mt registry it qas overwhelming all the stuff Amazon suggested I add
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Tahnee,
I find it so fascinating that I’ll wake up as soon as my son starts stirring. I think it’s mama instinct and having your baby in your room helps tremendously to be on top of it. Also thanks so much for sharing what has been working so well for you and your family!
nofixedstars says
love it! i didn’t buy much for my baby, either…i remember whenever we traveled, people would remark with surprise, “is that ALL you have with you? but you are traveling with a BABY!” because all i had was one small rolling case, a diaper bag (backpack), the baby strapped to me, and a folding bedrail. ok, and the bulky but necessary carseat.
at home, it wasn’t much different. apart from books and a few quiet, natural material toys, the only baby items we needed were cloth diapers/covers, an ordinary pedal trash bin to put the dirty diapers in, a plastic lidded box with dampened washcloths as wipes, 2 washable changing mats, some clothing, blanket or two for car seat and chilly shops/houses, and that bedrail; plus the all-important baby carriers…oh, and some nursing bras, a few flannel nursing pads for the early days, and a tube of lanolin cream.
i washed her with a warm washcloth until she could sit up; then i’d put her in the shower with me while i showered. baby hair doesn’t need more than occasional swish down with a tiny dab of castile soap, and their skin rarely needs much of anything except around the diapered bits. i did use the weleda brand calendula cream when there was any redness or dryness of skin, but that was pretty rare.
when she got bigger, i had a bed frame made to hold a toddler/crib size futon mattress at the same height as our bed, and secured it to the big bed frame, using the same old bedrail on the outside of it. that worked until she outgrew its length at around age 4.
simple is almost always better, and all the more so with children… 🙂
Dawn Michelle says
Hi nofixedstars,
Simple is definitely better. Traveling with a bulky car seat is a task at the airport. I usually only travel with one bag but things have certainly changed with a little one. Also thanks so much for sharing. It is so amazing reading how other mothers keep it simple!
Holly says
We have a crib that was my husband’s when he was a baby but haven’t assembled it yet (baby is three months). We plan to co-sleep as long as she nurses at night and use the crib for day naps – although right now she nap in our bed so maybe the crib is not necessary after all. I do use the stroller for walks and she sleeps in it outside (in our garden) or in the balcony. And I also use a car seat + wheels combo for when we take car trips, she doesn’t want to be carried, but I do try to slowly make her comfortable with it. We didn’t buy any furniture or other baby necessities (diaper bags, changing tables, baths etc).. I did make mistakes with buying clothes though, it’d had been better if I waited to buy them when she was already born.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Holly,
My son didn’t like the carrier at first. I had to practice wrapping it and also putting him in it for short periods daily. Now he loves it. I had forgotten that at first he didn’t until I read your comment. Thanks so much for being apart of this conversation. I am truly enjoying reading everyone’s comments!
Alicia says
Nice! I love your approach. I didn’t buy a whole lot for my little when he was a baby either. We bought a mini-crib but ended up co-sleeping…for years. LOL. I did buy a changing table and chest of drawers combo that I used to house his cloth diapers and clothing. He only recently stopped using it as clothing storage. Things I didn’t buy? A diaper bag (I refused, we EC’d and I just didn’t want to carry a lot of stuff), a stroller (babywearing is awesome!), and a lot of toys. I let experience dictate what we needed to get as he grew older and needed different things.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Alicia,
Thank you! How was your experience with EC and how old was your little one once potty trained?
kiara says
Thank you so much for this post. I have a 3 month old and two older children (3 &6) and they each have a dresser drawer to hold ALL of their clothes. Could you do a post on your baby’s wardrobe? Like how you keep it simple. And also your EC routine? I’m doing EC with my baby girl but I keep missing cues. Ugh. I have been using more flats with this baby and I am loving it! I used prefolds and covers with my first and pocket diapers with my second, but flats are truly amazing. I kind of like the fact that they feel “vintage” lol or old school.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Kiara,
I’ve already traded out much of my son’s wardrobe that doesn’t fit now but one way I kept it simple is focusing on keeping him skin to skin versus all of the cute outfits. I would only put him in a diaper at home and have him either next to me if seated or in a carrier if moving around. I’d use blankets when I put him down and only dress him for outings.
As for EC it is constantly changing and evolving. I currently only do it at home and not for outings unless I’m at a close friend’s house. I EC first thing in the morning once he wakes, immediately after naps, and when he cues me. His cues have changed as he has gotten older so I’ve had to change with him. Also I don’t focus on trying to catch all of them. Instead I focus on him staying connected and at least catching 1-3 a day. With that I often get a lot more but there is no anxiety or stress about it. I haven’t written about it just yet because I am learning it myself and am no pro. I am also curious if my efforts will have him confident about using the potty by one year old or if it will take longer. I’m so glad you liked the article too and thanks for your comment!
Ruth says
What a beautiful nursery. I’m glad you’ve been able to avoid a lot of extra things. Have your heard of Elimination Communication? It might be right up your alley. I’ve found it to be a long road, doing it part-time, but I love that I’m teaching my son about the potty (much like you teach a baby to sleep or eat over time), rather than trying to boot-camp him over a weekend. You might enjoy the book, “Diaper-free Before 3.” It’s particularly nice to be able “catch” waste once they start eating solids.
Ruth says
Oh I see in another post you know about it! We had a potty pause when he started walking, but eventually got him back on, since we knew he was capable.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Ruth,
Yes we are currently doing EC and it is time consuming sometimes but the benefits are so much more. What has been your experience with it? Also how do you handle outings? I’m currently only doing it at home or at a close friend’s home. I figured that once my son is able to walk he would just tug my skirt when he needed to go but I have no idea what to expect. I often find he has a dry diaper and he has been waiting for me to take him to the potty. I’m hoping that all of the effort for the both of us will pay off. Also thank you for the compliment on the nursery!