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Minimalist Beauty

living simply with grace, discretion and faith

Minimalist Beauty

Elimination Communication Works aka Natural Infant Hygiene

May 1, 2018 by Dawn Michelle

Before my son was born, I read this book and decided that using diapers for three years before potty training didn’t make since for me.  Although the idea of elimination communication goes against the western norm, it is a common practice in other cultures around the world.  I’m not going to say that EC is necessarily easy because it isn’t. I have a feeling potty training at three years old isn’t easy either. I just wanted to share an alternative for those who don’t know about EC.

One of the greatest benefits of elimination communication is no diaper rash.  Hence why EC is also termed “natural infant hygiene.”  Another huge benefit is that your child will have a much better understanding of their body from the beginning.

I didn’t even know it was possible for babies to communicate their elimination needs until I witnessed it with my son first hand.

Our Story

I started elimination communication (aka EC) with my son when he was three weeks old.  We used disposable diapers when we were in the hospital, then cloth diapers once we were home.  I’ve shared the most cost effective cloth diaper system that has worked for us so definitely check it out if you’re interested.

Before motherhood I used to be a professional dancer.  I was blessed to experience various forms of stage and commercial work, plus travel internationally over the years for it.  To be 100% honest, I didn’t have the best dance training.  Being an heartfelt performer got me very far, yet I also spent years correcting poor alignment and technique which was challenging.  I compare EC to my experience as a dancer.

Learning something right the first time makes a HUGE difference in your confidence and ability.

Babies in western culture are unconsciously taught that a diaper is the potty.  By solely using diapers without further information, babies are taught not to pay attention to elimination.  As a result their diaper will be changed possibly after peeing more than a couple of times.

Babies learn not to control any aspect of their elimination needs because as long as they “feel” dry it’s all good, right?

Benefits of EC

When the child turns almost three, they are told that what they thought was “the potty” is no longer.  Now they have to relearn everything.  It is now time to become fully aware of a bodily function which they lost the awareness of because they never used it.  Most children who are potty training still wet themselves during naps and overnight no matter how well they do during the day.

Because of EC, my son could stay dry while sleeping up to four hours by 12 months old.

That is only one of the benefits of elimination communication.  As they grow older they continue to get stronger and can anticipate and “communicate” when they need to go regularly.  It is actually pretty awesome.  My motto with elimination communication is that “DRY is the new black!”  Not “feeling” dry, but actually being dry.

How We Do EC & The Three Challenges

Now looking back, I wouldn’t have changed my decision to do EC.  I may have started doing EC a bit later on, but then again I’m not 100% sure about that either.  Regardless let me share what some of the challenges have been.

1. For starters I had to get past the mental anxiety of others knowing that I potty-ed my baby.

Yes I held my newborn over a small plastic bowl until he was big enough to have an actual potty.  Now after 15+ months, I could care less what others think because I now see the tremendous benefits of my insanity.

2. You will have misses and tons of them.

This is precisely why I’ve never been “diaper-free” with my son. I didn’t want to stress it, and I definitely didn’t want him to stress it either. This makes everything more relaxed for both of us no matter what happens.

If there’s a miss I change him immediately so that he is accustomed to being dry.  When we have a miss, I let him know he is still learning and obviously I am too. When he makes it to the potty, I make sure to tell him “good job” and that he’s doing great!

A newborn baby pees every 20 minutes, so I felt crazy more than I’d like to admit. I changed and laundered a lot of cloth diapers.  I love that now my son is very confident in his body and we’ve been creating a healthy mental attitude around elimination.

3. The elimination cues your baby makes will change as they grow and develop.

As a newborn my son would tighten his legs. By about six months old he would hit his diaper area to let me know he needed to go. By around eight months he began grunting. By 12 months I taught him sign language for potty. His version definitely isn’t precise, but I know what’s he means. He now has a few methods he uses to tell me such as patting my back if he is in his carrier on my back. He will also stop playing and come over to me to take him to the potty.

To begin I made a “pssssss” sound every time I noticed him peeing or pooping.

To be aware of this when we started, I would remove his cloth diaper while breastfeeding, and lay the diaper under his bum to observe.  It didn’t take him long to connect the “pssssss” cue to eliminating.  At this point I wasn’t holding him over anything.  It was more about connecting the cue to the action.

As time moved on I became aware of him signaling the need to eliminate.  Since I would wear my son in a carrier, I would feel his legs tense before needing to eliminate.  I would then remove from the carrier, hold him over his potty, and make the cue sound.

I remember visiting my parents and their complete astonishment to see my son eliminate on cue at four months old.

Potty Trained Already?!

You may wonder if my son is now “officially” potty trained at 16 months old.  The answer is no.  We still have misses, but seldom are they for a poo which is very cool with me.  We sometimes use tiny training pants, but also use cloth diapers because I have more of them.

There are days when we can literally go the entire day with only one or two misses.

Then there are others when we have plenty.  At 16 months I keep an eye out for cues every hour or so or just take him when intuitively I think he may need to go.  Because we’ve been doing this from the beginning, I’m usually right.  Then other times nothing happens.

All in all I am really glad that I decided to try EC with my son.

It has given us another area of connection and respect, helped my son gain confidence, and also kept him from ever having diaper rash.  I’ve actually never seen what a diaper rash even looks like outside of online photos.  I think that using cloth diapers with a simple skin care regimen for my son has helped with never having diaper rash either.

Lastly I read Tiny Potty by Andrea Olson to my son.  It is the cutest book and it really does teach the steps of using a potty to even the youngest of babies.  I have the book memorized at this point and like to recite it like I’m doing Def Poetry Jams or am a MC on the mic.  You have to make even the mundane a joy!

Have any of you tried elimination communication with your little one?

(Image by Dawn Michelle)

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  1. Rahima says

    May 1, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Amazing! What we think is possible or impossible makes a huge difference in the reality we manifest. Thank you for sharing this information!
    Rahima

    Reply
    • Dawn Michelle says

      May 4, 2018 at 3:27 pm

      Hi Rahima,
      I completely agree! Much of our reality is what we believe.

      Reply
  2. nofixedstars says

    May 2, 2018 at 5:52 am

    babies are much smarter than most in our culture give them credit for…most people haven’t heard of EC, and wouldn’t have thought it possible. and simply knowing about it can be useful for parents, by expanding their concept of what babies are capable of.

    i had my daughter in cloth diapers, and wore her around daily. from very early days, she would look at me and sometimes wave her hands when she wet or soiled her diaper. i changed her promptly when she indicated; i don’t think i ever checked her diaper in response to her indication and found it dry. sometimes i changed a dry diaper for my own convenience—before sleep, before getting in the car—but never when she “told” me she needed a change.

    when she was about two years old, i noticed that she was reliably dry overnight. at that point, i put her in cotton “training pants” during the day, and got both a baby potty and a snap-in seat adapter for the downstairs toilet, as well as a step-stool. she was verbal early, so we were long since able to communicate clearly; i’d ask her if she needed to use the bathroom, and she would say yes or no, as appropriate. over the course of three days, she basically “trained” herself to use the regular toilet with the adapter and step-stool. (she was quite petite, and the adapter made a huge difference in her not slipping into the loo!)

    that was pretty much it. if we went on a long day trip, i might slip the seat adapter into a plastic bag and throw it in the car or diaper bag, but otherwise we just carried a couple extra pair of cotton pants for insurance. she didn’t have an accident for about a year, and then had perhaps one or two occasions where she wet her pants, due to ignoring the need to go because she was absorbed in play. then, never again.

    no sticker charts, no rewards, no elaborate explanations or cajoling required. not all children will have the same ease, but many could. there are windows of developmental readiness for toilet learning, just like for other functions, and children naturally wish to become more competent and independent in most regards if not forced into it artificially or too early, or if they link to separation or shaming. and i still believe using cloth diapering makes it easier, because the baby learns to associate their body signals/feelings with a subsequent wetness, whereas if in disposables most of the time, the wetness gets pulled into the gel diaper lining, and they don’t make the link. also, babies left in damp/soiled diapers routinely will learn to ignore the connection, accepting it as a “normal” state to be in, which is both unhealthy for their poor skin and complicating for toilet training later. communication with one’s baby is key! this is why i tell parents about EC even if i know it isn’t something they will wish to pursue fully, because they benefit so much from knowing that babies DO communicate and it IS a possibility!

    Reply
    • Dawn Michelle says

      May 4, 2018 at 3:33 pm

      Hi nofixedstars,

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I definitely agree that cloth diapers make a huge difference. I also believe that potty training has more to do with the parents being ready more so than the child. This is especially true if the parents used EC techniques to keep their child aware of their bodily functions.

      What I’ve been enjoying about EC is that it is as normal as any other body care activity. So there is no need for rewarding or shaming. It’s just nature.

      Reply
  3. Alicia says

    May 2, 2018 at 4:11 pm

    I did it along with cloth diapers and it was the best decision for me and the boy. It took a lot of work but I wouldn’t have changed my approach at all.

    Reply
    • Dawn Michelle says

      May 4, 2018 at 3:34 pm

      Hi Alicia,
      This is great to hear! I’ve heard that it can take longer for boys to potty train. If this is true than EC is extremely helpful for them in particular.

      Reply
  4. GalyaB says

    May 2, 2018 at 10:25 pm

    I thought EC granted you faster results (aka potty trained baby) than 18 months… My first born was in disposables, because believe it or not 13 years ago in Russia there were NO cloth alternative for diapers. You could only keep changing onesies 3 times an hour which back then wasn’t an option. Being concerned of pollution I did the best I thought I could – just let her stay bare bottom 2 hours a day. When she was 10 m.o. I said I had enough and from today she was supposed to enjoy her day nap without a diaper. She had a mishap the same day, but starting the next day no mishaps! When she was about 12 I did the same about her night sleep with exactly the same result. At 18 months she was using her potty, fully trained, no mishaps ever, no just-in-case diapers for play dates or doctor visits.

    With #2 it was a bit trickier. Since I wasn’t the only caregiver I had to use both disposables and regular clothes (again no reliable cloth diaper alternative). Starting at 12 months I tried to cut down disposables as much as I could and let him practice EC (I didn’t know existed 🙂 ) But he wasn’t so fast learner as his sister. And he wasn’t fully trained until almost 2 y.o.

    My #3 is 9 m.o. FINALLY there good cloth diapers available and that’s what I use. I only have 8 of them, so he also goes through many training panties which are left overs from his bro. YES, I noticed he could wake up after his 3-3.5 hour nap dry from when he was THREE m.o. BUT I never, not even once had any luck while holding him over the sink.

    I also have to admit I’m a poor communicator. I don’t see the signs early enough to react. I can only tell his face while he’s actually going. What I love about EC even if you like me can’t tell shit from shine and just keep changing those wetted panties like crazy is that my baby is treated as a human. I go with assumption that he prefers being dry and clean vs being wet and smelly and I love respecting those needs. Even as EC failure.

    Thank you, Dawn Michelle for sharing your experience!!

    Reply
    • Dawn Michelle says

      May 4, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      Hi GalyaB,
      Thanks so much for sharing your experience with all three of your little ones! You are definitely not an EC failure by any means. Every child will learn and grown at their own pace and sounds like you are flowing with it beautifully. I completely agree about your baby preferring to be dry and clean. There is a lot of diaper changing with this, but it is the most respectful thing to do despite how much work it is. Plus the benefits in the long run are worth it.

      Reply
      • Shanthi says

        May 17, 2018 at 10:00 pm

        30 year old female from India, potty trained as my mom says completely dry at 10 months old. People are slowly catching up with this but it has been in our culture for as long as there is existence.
        Relationships and communication matter, Result of that is EC and many other wonderful things.

        Ardent follower for a long time. Thanks for sharing your experience Dawn.!

        Reply
        • Dawn Michelle says

          May 18, 2018 at 9:38 pm

          Hi Shanthi,
          Thanks so much for your comment and sharing this! Also thanks for being a long time reader. I truly appreciate it.

          Reply
  5. Himawari says

    May 20, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    This is fascinating and cool! I knew babies were a lot smarter than people tend to think. I think the bond this creates with your child is so important. Potty training can create so many issues, I think, so why not do it the most natural and respectful way. I was using a potty from a very young age and my family used exclusively cloth diapers, and I have no trauma or fear associated with it. My mom would take my little potty with me wherever we went and I would just go when I needed to, before I could even verbally express myself fully. She was pretty fearless about it and I’m glad you are too!

    Reply
    • Dawn Michelle says

      May 30, 2018 at 3:39 pm

      Hi Himawari,
      Sounds like your mother did elimination communication even if it wasn’t called that. I truly appreciate you sharing this. I think that the old ways of doing certain things just make sense. Some of those things just get a new name to make it more in line with the times. I find hearing stories like this awesome.

      Reply
  6. Anca says

    June 17, 2020 at 8:04 am

    Hi Michele, just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for sharing your experience with EC and also raising awareness of its existence. I live in the south of France, I was born in Romania and when I mention this to my friends or family or strangers they look at me and the baby as aliens. Everybody around me thinks babies are incontinent…
    In my case, I found out from your article about EC while pregnant. The first 3 months when my son was born I thought it would be impossible for me to have time for it…but it came almost naturally. We started with disposibles the first 3 weeks, then switched to washable diapers and we paied very much attention when the baby needed to have a poo as it was more difficult to clean him and the diaper and we thought also that he would prefer to eliminate with the diaper removed. On top of it we found it was cute to help him into it as for him it was obvious “big business” (turning red and pushing each time)…
    Then we realised that he took advantage of every opportunity of diaper change to do the poo(we changed it every 2h-2h30)…And realised this is not a coincidence…His signals starting getting clearer: we do cosleeping and I knew that when he was moving a lot, if breastfeeding didn’t calm it during the night, then he needed …an opportunity to eliminate. And during the day a grunt for the poo was clear enough.

    Then came the lockdown and me and my husand considered we had enough time to catch the pees, my son was almost 4 months. This was more complicated, we had a hard time finding the signal, even when in our arms or in the carrier. The timing, intuition or ghost wees are our signs.
    Now he’s 6 months old, he spends most of the day without any diaper(still not mobile,big advantage!) and we spend the night without diapers almost. He also can last 4-6h dry the night.
    We think he feels better off diapers in the summer now and is so great to be able to understand his need!
    I’m sometimes afraid not to be too pushy when I propose and nothing happens…
    Thank you again, a 1000 times for sharing your experience!

    Reply
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