Hi Dawn Michelle,
I wanted to reach out to you in hopes that you might be able to help me out. I’ve tried a couple of other people, tried their regimens, and it hasn’t worked thus far. Basically my six year old daughter and I have extremely dry hair. I’m not so worried about my hair as I am her’s right now.
The problem started about three months ago when we started using Shea Moisture Products. After about two washes, I noticed the dryness and stopped using the products. Since then, nothing I’ve used has helped with the dryness, tangles and breakage. Her hair has gone from below her shoulder bone to right below her neck. I have to constantly “trim” it every two weeks because the ends get rough even after protective styling. Her hair is usually just single braids (with her own hair) or two strand twists. She wears a silk cap most of the day especially if she’s not going anywhere.
I’m so sorry to bother you but I really need some direction. In the past few months, I’ve reached out to about three “experts” and taken her to the salon where her hair was blow dried and flat ironed out of my own desperation. I see no improvement. Instead all I see now is broken hair, frayed edges and dullness. I know it’s just hair and I should take it easy, but for my six year old that I have taught to love her hair and let her know that it should not be painful for her to get her hair done, she now cries every time I style her hair. Please help me, if you can. I found your site today and I’m reading up on it.
Her hair tangles after I wash it, does not retain moisture, breaks easily, and no longer retaining length because of the dryness. Products seems to sit on her hair. Her hair is soft and easy to detangle only when it is soaking wet with conditioner on it.
I hope I gave you enough info that you can help with. I would appreciate any advise you can offer. Thanks!
My Response…
Hello,
Thanks for your message! I am a big advocate for natural products and also making many of them from simple ingredients. I’ve also not had the best experience from using even low heat on my hair. I refrain from heat and usually air dry my hair.
Dry hair could result from many different things. Your hair may not be absorbing water when it is washed because of product buildup or because it is extremely low in porosity. Therefore moisture from water is not able to penetrate the hair shaft and products applied on top won’t seal in that moisture.
No matter what has already happened to your daughter’s hair, try to remain calm around it. Your daughter may be picking up on your concern and stress about her hair therefore now disliking that time you share together even more. Most children don’t like to have their hair done, yet creating a peaceful environment with music, games, or anything that you can think of to create a new sacred mother/daughter ritual will be really good.
For starters incorporate drinking more water as well as flaxseed oil, coconut oil, or even fish oils into your diet based on your own preferences.
Healthy oils in the diet really help with dry skin and hair. Also I would suggest washing your daughters hair in braids, not twists as they may encourage knots and tangles, to help make the process easier and much more gentle. Use a heavily diluted natural shampoo or even an aloe vera and clay mixture. Rhassoul or bentonite clay will work fine. 100% Pure Yummy Ice Creams 2 in 1 Body Wash and Shampoo may be a great kid’s natural shampoo option that you and your daughter may like that can be used as is. It applies like a foam, is all natural, and smell wonderful. I don’t find their products to be drying at all.
I also think that using a very slippery detangling conditioner is necessary to further cleanse the hair and also as a leave-in. Easy detangling is key. To seal in the moisture I’m currently loving shea butter. I haven’t used it for a very long time and just started using it again. (Update: Shea butter can sometimes be too heavy for low porosity hair or for those who co-wash exclusively as it can seal moisture out of the hair on wash day. Light oils can be a better option.)
Use an applicator bottle to apply your diluted hair wash, unless using 100% Pure, and gently massage into the braids and scalp. Rinse thoroughly. Next add the conditioner of your choice and rinse. You may also want to use the conditioner diluted with aloe or water for easy application and rinsing during the cleansing process since her hair will be in braids.
Out of the bath or shower remove one braid at a time and finger detangle her hair with tons of conditioner to remove shed hairs. This time you are leaving the conditioner in the hair. If you feel like you need to comb her hair only use a seamless wide tooth comb. Add an oil or butter and braid. I would keep your daughters hair in braids constantly to keep organized, free from tangles, and moisturized. I would use hair friendly accessories that will not snag or break hair.
I would try and wash her hair at least once a week. The consistent full saturation with water will really help with moisture. You can spritz her hair with a mixture of aloe vera, water, vegetable glycerin, natural oil, and essential oils as needed throughout the week.
Here is an example of a simple braid style that you can cleanse and style the hair. Make 4-6 symmetrical braids on each side of the hair with a center part. Cross the matching braids in the middle and secure with bobby pins. Add adornments as you desire.
If you notice that detangling is still difficult with this method, you may want to do a bit of dry finger detangling prior to washing the hair in braids.
Unravel each braid one at a time and remove shed hairs using a light natural oil to coat the strands, then rebraid. Once you feel comfortable with your weekly routine you may want to incorporate doing henna treatments as needed a few times per year for extra strengthening. Body art quality henna is natural, and would be safe to use on your daughter’s hair.
I hope that this will help. Keeping curls stretched and in braids helps with hair growth retention and moisture. Have a wonderful day!
Best Wishes,
Dawn Michelle
Do you have any other tips that may help with dry hair?
(Image by D Sharon Pruitt)
Darcia says
Hi Dawn,
I hope you don’t mind me adding to your great tips.
I have had much success with these tips for low porosity hair. http://www.natreview.com/2012/04/18/the-other-path-to-moisture-technically-speaking-moisturizing-low-porosity-hair/
I would also suggest weekly deep treatments alternate each week between protein and deeply moisturizing.
I have the same issues and finally started seeing some improvement. I am also finding less product is more. I take my time and do a lot of smoothing of the product on my hair.
I also seal the ends with a heavy oil (Jamican black castor oil) after I have twisted.
Dawn Michelle says
Thanks Dacia for the info and sharing what is working well for you. My hair is normal porosity so it is good to hear what is working for someone with low porosity hair. The more conversation the better.
That article you shared has a lot of information. I noticed that the article suggests using castile soap to cleanse hair with low porosity. I’m thinking that suggestion is given to open up the hair cuticle to absorb more water. I believe it is better to use pH balanced products that stay between the pH of 4-7. Castile soap has a pH of 9-10 which is extremely high. Does your benefit from using castile soap or high pH cleansers? Again thanks for sharing. Have a beautiful day!
Darcia says
It made a world of difference. Prior to using the Castile soap I was using baking soda once a month added to my conditioner. Joe Parker from the article is a chemist and owner of Cush cosemtics. I asked him to formulate a clear conditioner for low porosity hair and he is working on it. I have played around with different pH and my hair benefits with products with a slightly higher pH. I dilute the Castile soap. I steamed my hair with Kangen’s beauty water pH of 5. My hair was so dry and brittle after steaming. It has been a battle finding the right products and technique. Most products sit on top of my hair providing no benefit except build up.
CindyP says
Hi Dawn,
I just wanted to chime in on all the wonderful suggestions already presented.
1. Vinegar rinse. I found that rinsing with diluted vinegar after cleansing and conditioning helped to bring hair back to its natural pH as well as smooth and soften the strands.
2. Leave in conditioner. Using a pH balanced leave in conditioner after every wash helped me to minimize tangles and retain moisture. I wait until hair is no longer dripping wet but damp so that product adheres to hair better.
3. After styling hair, I always seal with castor oil. After half an hour or so, my hair feels soft and not oily at all. It has been wonderful for helping my hair to retain moisture.
4.Baggying. Just before bedtime, I spritz my hair with a mixture similar to the one you recommend and then seal with castor oil. Then I cover hair with a plastic shower cap over which I cover with a satin cap. In the morning my hair may feel slightly damp, but retains moisture for the next few days.
5. Protein Conditioner. I have also started doing protein conditioning on a regular basis. I follow up with a moisturizing conditioner at the same time and this helps to keep my hair strong, smooth and soft and moisturized.
Because my porous hair dries so easily, I have omitted shampoos altogether and co-wash with a moisturizing conditioner. I love the clay washes or castile soap for removing buildup but I must follow up with a vinegar rinse to prevent dryness and restore pH.
The pH of products has made a big difference in how my hair feels. Whatever you decide to use to wash/condition hair if you follow up with a vinegar rinse it brings the hair back to its natural pH. Including aloe vera to styling products whether in the leave in conditioner or moisturizing spritz or both accomplishes the same thing.
Hope this helps.
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Cindy,
Thanks so much for all of your tips! Vinegar rinses are wonderful for the hair. I sometimes do my apple cider vingear rinses with herbs as well or even a plain herbal hair rinse does the trick.
Best,
Dawn Michelle
Crystal Hubbard says
Hi Dawn Michelle – I am so happy that I have found your blog! I have been reading through it over the past few days as I am just starting on a No Poo process for my daughters very long super curly hair. Her hair appears to look a lot like yours. Her hair has never been very dry however her scalp has been itchy for as long as I can remember. She does not have any visible dandruff or any thing coming from her scalp but complains daily of it being very very itchy for as long as I can remember. We have been exclusively co-washing with the product as I am coconut co-wash for a couple years. We do not wash more than once a week sometimes only every other week. When we’re not washing her hair it is almost always in 4 to 6 braids. I have recently tried a coconut oil deep conditioning for her scalp and hair to see if that would help with the itchiness but it has not. Do you have any recommendations as we move to a no POO method? During her last shampoo I did not use the co-wash but only used an egg wash and ACV rinse. This week when I wash I plan on using Rhassoul Clay and an ACV rinse. Is there anything else you can recommend that we should do to help with her itchy scalp? I appreciate all of your advice and thank you so much for your time!
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Chrystal,
Most likely your daughter’s itchy scalp has something to do with the ingredients in the co-wash you were using. After all of the different no poo methods I have tried, I most enjoyed using bentonite clay/apple cider vinegar or grass oil clay/aloe vera washes before simplifying my regimen even more with my zero waste efforts.
Also giving her scalp a break from products may be helpful as in doing some water only rinses (once the hair/scalp has been cleaned well) and not applying anything to the scalp after washing aside from an apple cider vinegar rinse. Scalp massages are great to encourage sebum production which can help balance a dry scalp.
Also encouraging your daughter to drink more water and eat healthy fats such as avocado can help to moisturize her scalp from the inside out. I hope that this helps and please keep us posted on her progress!
Melissa says
Hello my name is Melissa n my 9 year old hair is always dry n breaking off around the back n sides. I have tried everything. When she gets braids she pulls them out n is always scratching in her head. Plz help
Dawn Michelle says
Hi Melissa,
I’m not sure if you are referring to braids with extension hair, but I have found that the chemicals in regular braiding hair to create scalp irritation. It is advised to presoak braiding hair in apple cider vinegar, but I think it is best to just braid hair without extensions. Also look into the ingredients of the product you are using for your daughter’s hair. If the products have chemical ingredients they can cause sensitivities especially for sensitive skin. I am sensitive to most ingredients in beauty products and can’t even use store bought conditioners or products with fragrance. I hope that this is helpful to you both.